recipe for sucsex

One Apple, preferably green; e.g. Granny Smith. (slice it!)
A dollop of Apple Butter.
Another dollop of cream cheese, preferably whipped; e.g Giant Eagle Whipped Cream Cheese.
A slice (you be the judge) of cheddar cheese, preferably sharp or extra sharp.
Two slices of bread, preferably a kind you like.
One toaster oven.
One napkin, paper towel, and/or plate.