Chest Rockwell. The badass.

Seriously, someone explain this to me, because I'm baffled: why is John C. Reilly such a badass? I've asked Em and she can't give a good enough reason. I mean I need a sound answer. Sound and Logical. [Sound and Vision] Some things he's said that are bafflingly badass: "What do you squat?"; "Be cool, stay in school," "That was good. Let me show you what you did wrong," "But the magic that is on these tapes - that is ours," "Watch the lip!" Just picture Reed Rothchild dancing in the studio in support of his porn/cocaine-buddy Dirk Diggler as Dirk belts out, "You're a winner!" And then he agrees that the bass is taking away from Dirk's vocals. Genius. John C. Reilly is a treasure chest. Overflowing with gold medallions and yellow shinys.

Dr. Cheppa. The badass.

Speaking of which, my dentist used to have this fish tank with a teasure chest at the bottom, a small one. And there was this underwater guy, with the scuba head-gear and spear in hand. And then after I had my teeth cleaned, he'd let me pick through his own personal treasure chest and take something for keeps. FOR KEEPS! They were similiar to the toys you get at an arcade, when you play skee-ball a few times. Minus the airheads.