Do you have your extracare card?

The most difficult question I have ever been confronted with: "What do you want to do?" Even on any given night that's a hard enough question, but it is especially hard when it is my life we're talking about. I don't think I will ever know. That's the truth. And I don't know how to accept that. I cannot allow my life to float by, to sink and sink as I attempt to pretend I'm breathing. I guess I should be thankful that I'm married and therefore have someone by my side. Be thankful that I have a job at all, that I, I don't know - have the privilege to pay bills? Jesus. I'm not thankful, I'm depressed. And that's the truth. If only I could tell the truth for the rest of my life, get paid well for that, and have benefits - with a 401k package and two months vacation. This is boring.