What's goin' on

There's nothing new to follow. Just a warning. I dont know what I am doing. Now, after 2 years of saying "I can't do Philosophy, I can't do Philososphy", I am considering it again. What is wrong with me? I just refuse to be idle: work at CVS and be satisfied. I love English. But what I love about it is completely passive. I like to read stories and think about them. Sometimes I enjoy hearing stories, and hearing people talk about them. Occasionally, just every so often, I take part in a discussion. But the thought of writing about a novel, or a short story, or a poem - that just doesn't do it for me. I don't really get it on an 'active' level, only passively. I'm a reader of books, not a writer of, or about, books. But with Philosophy it's the opposite. I don't really enjoy reading a critique or an essay. But talking about it, writing about it, thinking about it - that I love, that I truly enjoy. So bomb's away, I guess. A PhD bomb that is. A 5-6 year hell-load, where I learn 2 languages, write endlessly, teach shakingly, and pay for nothing. (They pay me! - That is, if I get in). One obstacle awaits me: the GRE. Jesus have mercy on us.