How am I not myself?

My car failed the emissions test. For those of you who do not know, when your car fails the emissions test you can do one of three things. Here they are in specific order: i) leave your car with the mechanic, which explains the large number of cars in every mechanic's garage; ii) qualify for a waiver, which costs $75; or iii) get a fake inspection sticker, which could cost you over a million dollars. I decided I'd at least look into the third option. I searched Wikipedia, but the results were belittling. I decided to go to Deer Park, where bottled water is made. I found the answer under the moon light.

The truth of the matter is I'm drinking Deer Park water right now and my car failed the emissions test. I took the 2nd option.

I've been eating many veggie burgers, listening to a lot of Peter Bjorn and John and reading Joseph Mitchell's "Old Mr Flood". Also reading Sherman Alexie's "First Indian on the Moon" and am close to finishing Saroyan's "The Daring Young Man on the Flying Trapeze". I have been lifting, I have been taking the bus to work, I have been wanting to draw and paint. I have been wanting to run. I have been wanting to tell the world the truth. About Jesus. (Christ) I have been wanting to live in a flat place, but not outside of Pittsburgh. Which is not the easiest. I have been sleepy. I have not been sleepier. Which is depressing. I have been dreaming of Independence Day and the annual joy it yields in my heart of hearts. I have been sexy. I have been resting my weary ankles on a cream ottoman. I have not been myself. I have never been myself. I have wanted to be myself. I have to be myself.

Because it's more fulfilling and true.

If there's a god or a God or a GAWD!, please wake my weary bones. Take away the cream ottoman of my soul!