A lot has happened since I last posted. One big thing is I turned 28. Which, as many of you know, is two years away from 30. Some don't know this, but many do. A good bit of people have heard this.

Other things that have happened:

I lost my virginity to a prostitute. In times Square, at the Macy's Day Parade.
I did the dishes.
I started eating meat by the bag-full.

Two of those could be true. But you know how it is with me. Many of you do. Some don't.

I finished two Murakami books, or three. On my fourth.

I can't bring myself to paint. I haven't tried either. Many know the way this is.

But the big news is Joel, Emily, Mike and I filmed a one-minute horror short for Rob Zombie. It's funny I was watching Airheads starring Brendan 'Neanderthal' Fraser, and was really getting into the scene where White Zombie plays a live show. I had my pants off and everything. Just then I got a text from R. Zombie. He said: "Duud, u shud flm a 1min hor shrt". So I gathered the boys and girl together and set out for LA (It's the only place to use cameras). We made the best one anyone ever saw. And we won the grandprize. Two tickets to the set of Airheads 2 starring Kramer.