keester

'Let's get one thing straight, you old cuckold,' I said. And then he slugged me. Right in the keester. And like a pile of bricks I fell to the floor. Jacket and all. Right to the linoleum with a pocket full of perspectimum. And he stole it - the old cuckold. Now I can't get it right.

As I lay there I thought of other things to say. 'You got it wrong cuck, you old cuck.' Stop cucking about you bit cuck.

That's what a customer told me today, everything above this sentence. What he meant was, where is the prune juice or adult daipers, or stool softener or gas-x - I don't know. I just drank a little and I'm tired of work and I'm tired of making sense. CENTS, for crying out loud. Keester - full of lead.

I killed my dinner - with karate.

Nobody seems to care that I did that. Except Joanna. Thanks for the nod Jo. News (pronounced noose). That's what I call her.

But seriously. I thought of a really funny idea. I text Joel, JOEL! this: "Will you have phone sex with me?" It's a riot right? So, I wait like 3 or 10 hours and say (pronounced text), 'oh sorry that was meant for your little sister'. Ok, that's even funnier because he'll wonder if I meant to say Big sister, or older sister, but also still be wondering why I would tell him or ask him any of this stuff. And he'd wonder why he knows someone who does it on the phone - you know, the phone sex. So then I wait like a day and text (pronounced tex) 'just kidding -please phone text me'. Man, this is hilarious. I'm having the time of my life here.

I'm loving every minute of this crew, mixing it up. Chopping it up and slugging it out with this keester crew. Pump their guts full of lead they're so funny. True Blue keester.

I got it right.