200th Post
I decided for my 200th post to list 200 memories. So I wrote them in my journal, in no order, and then transferred them here. I then organized them according to location because I found that memories are linked to places I lived, even if the memory had nothing to do with my house or town. There are so many more I could list.
116 Crest Dr. White Oak
My first house which I lived in until I was 6. Typical middle class suburban home. We had to move because my Dad lost his job. He was a coal miner back then.
1. Stealing money from a flowery brown box on my Mom's dresser in order to buy a Chinese star from a kid in the neighborhood.
2. My one and only attempt at throwing a Chinese star at a basketball in my backyard.
3. Losing my one and only Chinese star in my backyard.
4. My dad throwing me above his head and catching me.
5. Watching my dad ride his motorcycle on the undeveloped land behind our house.
6. My Dad throwing my Menudo guitar to the bottom of the steps, where it broke.
7. Being scared of my Dad for breaking my favorite childhood toy.
8. Laying with my mom on our couch and watching endless movies (Star Wars, I'm told).
9. Walking with my mom at dusk through our suburban neighborhood.
10. Sitting in our first car (a grey Cougar), jammed in with the last of our possessions, as my Mom ran back inside for one last look.
11. I remember wondering how what we would do if we had a cat with us. Would we put milk in a dish on the floor? We never had cats so it was very weird that I wondered about that.
12. Driving away from my first home.
208/204 South Ave, Wilkinsburg
My maternal, late Grandparents owned the condominiums where I divided up my childhood. Kindergarten through 3rd grade and 7th through half of 9th. My Dad worked as the maintenance man for all of my Grandparents apartments and went to electrical school. My mom went to school for Real Estate to follow in the footsteps of her Dad.
13. Training wheels and learning to ride my bike.
14. Not wanting to come in and sing Happy Birthday to my Mom.
15. My Mom coming out to ask me to come in and sing for her Birthday.
16. My friend Aaron telling me to go in and sing to my Mom.
17. Georgie almost getting hit by a car on South Ave.
18. The sound of the brakes as the car stopped a foot away from his bike.
19. The driver getting out and making a comment about anti-lock brakes and thank god.
20. Hiding behind a telephone pole after running across the street in front of cars.
21. Stealing 20 after 20 from my Grandfather's wallet as he lay sleeping before the television.
22. Buying box after box of baseball cards.
23. My brother Bryan stealing 20 dollars from my secret hiding place.
24. Trying to tell my parents what my brother did without telling them how I had that much money to begin with.
25. In their kitchen, telling my Grandfather I was sorry for taking the money.
26. My Grandfather forgiving me.
27. Smoking my Grandma's Salem cigarettes with my cousin Jen in the bathroom.
28. Smoking Lucky Strikes in between office buildings.
29. Buying my first pack of cigarettes from Trenton Pharmacy, a store that no longer exists. It displayed wheelchairs and walkers in the window. Probably why it's no longer in business.
30. Smoking cigarettes on the roof of Trenton Pharmacy.
31. Standing behind Trenton Pharmacy when an anonymous blue van pulled up.
32. Georgie not moving when the doors opened.
33. Me being scared when a blue van pulled up and saving my friend's life when I got him out of there (you never know).
34. Trying to do pull-ups on a dumpster after watching a neighbor throw away his trash.
35. The dumpster falling on top of me.
36. That same neighbor pulling a dumpster off my leg.
37. Having to walk around on crutches for weeks.
38. My friend's Aaron, Georgie, Johnny, and Ray.
39. Aaron and Georgie were brothers. I mostly hung out with Georgie because we were closer in age. Aaron was older.
40. Johnny was Georgie's friend. His mom grew marijuana in their backyard and owned an abundance of small mirrors which adorned many a coffee table in their apartment.
41. Ray lived across the street on the second floor.
42. Ray was a fat kid until one day, after not seeing him for months, he came outside with muscles. wtf?
43. Playing handball in grade school at St. Anselm's.
44. Watching my brother play handball when I was in 1st grade and he was in 8th.
45. Living in the shadow of my brother. Teachers expected me to be "bad" like him.
46. Our grade school gym which was shaped like a "D" on its side.
47. Playing basketball in that gym with no self-esteem and a lot of anxiety.
48. I hated all team sports growing up. I just did it for my family.
49. I remember the complete comfort of playing basketball by myself.
50. Making fun of Mickey O'Brien.
51. My friend Dorian.
52. Dorian came to St A's in 8th grade when the school had changed its name to "Word of God". He started a school club called "The Union".
53. "The Union" had a President, a Vice-President, etc. and our main goal was beating up Mick. But we never really beat him up, we only passed around agendas every homeroom about beating him up. We all had to initial the agenda.
54. My title in The Union was "Jonas" - I was a big Weezer fan.
55. Meeting Shawn in 2nd grade and becoming good friend's with him in 7th.
56. Meeting Vin in 8th grade. I sat behind him in homeroom and cracked stupid jokes about beavers. No euphemism. We thought the animal was hilarious.
57. Walking over Shawn's house almost everyday. When I had a friend I would spend a lot of time with them. Probably too much because Shawn and his Mom started to get a little mad.
58. Everyday during the summer we would sit on his porch for awhile, walk to Braddock Ave Express for Turner's Tea - which sucked because of all the steps - hang out at the park, the park steps, play basketball, watch TV. It was heaven. I think the sun was envious.
59. Shawn's video camera and "The Park Steps", which was a show we made up like "The State". Painfully awkward to watch, I'm sure.
60. We also made a radio show.
61. And made prank phone calls.
62. My everyday friends were Shawn, Matt and his younger brother Kevin, who we liked better, Mickey - even though we did pick on him daily - and his little brother Pat, who had a lisp. Vin came over sometimes too. But not too often because his Mom was still his Mom even back then.
63. Occasionally girls would come around.
64. Girls from school all thought I was funny and that's it. Because I was fat and weird. And girls are shallow. Boys aren't (kidding).
65. Some of those girls were Kara Redinger, who Shawn had a crush on, Ali Abel, who no one knew I had a crush on and who had a big chin (see 66), Tara Miller, who, sadly, no one had a crush on. She was funny like me in that way. And Erin Something, who came around seldomly, and who Vin dated throughout grade school.
66. Jamie Morello, who looked like Lazlo from Real Genius - minus the long hair - (which in turn means he looks like Uncle Rico). Anyway, Jamie made up this hand gesture that started with your hand at your chin and moved out and upward called "The Power Chin". There was a noise too.
67. I had one chance to tell Ali I liked her but couldn't do it. I sat with her in her livingroom drinking root beer as I waited for my Mom to pick me up.
68. I also had a crush on Heidi Veltre like everyone else. I saw her at CVS recently (I still have a crush on her).
69. I wrote something funny in her yearbook and she laughed. I didn't expect her to laugh at my weird joke and it made me smile for days.
70. I was voted funniest in 8th grade. Shawn: best looking. Vin: best singer. (I was also voted most likely to blog).
71. My brother showing me his glass bong. I remember feeling like he was going to die any second because of it, though I didn't know what he possibly could have done with it.
72. He hid the glass bong under his mattress. We had bunkbeds.
73. I had both beds when he left. I was 10. He was 16.
74. He lived with us again for a couple months when I was maybe 11 or 12.
75. Reading The Giving Tree over and over. Sometimes just flipping through and looking.
76. Walking into Ray's apartment to see that Georgie, Aaron and he were watching what I soon learned to be porn.
77. Thanks to Ray, Georgie, and Aaron for teaching me the birds and bees. And that gracious gentleman who came on that humble woman's face. At the time I thought it was pee, at which they laughed.
78. I was younger than all those guys.
79. Going to Donnie's Bar with my Grandfather and drinking Cokes and eating chips.
80. My Grandfather wore a cap, an oldman cap. I had to have one too. We used to go out like that.
81. When my Grandfather was not at the bar or out grocery shopping for stuff they already had he would be in his room with the AC on - no matter what the season it seemed - with his PJ bottoms on and V-neck white T-shirt tucked in. He'd lay there all night and watch movies.
82. I could always stop in his room and watch TV with him. He's roll over and smile at me and roll back over. I'd always sneak away and downstairs when there was a sex scene. He got a kick out of that. I have never been able to sit through a sex scene with family.
83. I liked living next to my Grandparents. Though we were on welfare, some of my fondest memories are from this time on my life (I do have memories of my Dad's parents, but they are still alive, so those memories don't hold the same weight).
84. Going out to eat with my Mom and Grandma. Mostly Kings. I always got the Turkey Club with fries.
85. Our dog Blondie, who once got knocked down by this scary looking dog. My Grandfather yelled so loud and that scary dog ran so fast.
86. The phone call from my Dad about my grandfather dying. I was in the kitchen.
87. I once danced around my kitchen to George Michael. Half because I thought it was funny and half because I liked it.
88. When my parents came home they didn't look at me but I could tell they'd been laughing. I had closed the blinds but not the right way - the were facing down!
89. I never danced to George in my kitchen, or in any room, ever again.
90. Sitting on my steps talking on the phone to Shawn for hours. That was my first long conversation and I think his too. That's probably why we kept it going so long - for the experience.
91. My brother's skateboarder side hair cut.
92. Trying to skateboard with my brother down Peebles Ave at dusk.
93. Bugle boy pants and the cuff. They had paisely around the cuff specifically so you could cuff and show off your love of paisely.
94. Georgie's tree, which I sat in many a day. Mostly after knocking on the door to an empty house.
95. Watching his parent's porn - they had one tape - in his living room. There was one position called "The George Washington". Well, that's what Georgie called it.
96. Accidentally shooting a shot gun out Georgie's back door as we looked up at each other in horror. We were both holding it and it put a hole threw his wooden fence. He told me the safety was on.
97. Sitting in Georgie and Aaron's tree house - a different tree - and eating P,B & J.
98. Georgie said he was running away from home but only made it to his own tree house in his own yard.
99. Aaron and I laughed that he only brought some lousy P, B & J.
100. Georgie and Aaron's basketball hoop.
101. Their Dad (Big George) didn't want any black kids to play on it. I disagreed, inside.
102. Talking to Georgie and Aaron about pacifism, though I didn't call it that.
103. Getting chased on my 15th birthday by three black kids.
104. Being surrounded by a gang of black kids, some were once basketball friends, and getting punched in the face two times.
105. I turned around and walked home as deliberately as I could.
106. Georgie came to my door. He showed me the handheld gun in his pants by lifting his shirt. He and Johnny were going to find the kids, he said.
107. I stayed in and listened to "The Toadies".
108. Eating trout that Georgie's dad caught. It was painstaking to get rid of all those whisker-like bones.
109. Being terrified of Big George because of his size (his name was no pun), racist views, and unpredictable anger.
110. When Georgie's parents split up I went over to Big George's apartment in Regent Square. But his Dad was sitting there at the table naked. I kept pushing stuff off the table onto the ground so I could look at his bulge. It was massive.
111. Favorite movies around this time: Sneakers and Searching for Bobby Fisher.
112. I did a report on Bobby Fisher and Josh Waitzkin in 8th grade.
113. I never got into the game of chess though.
114. I loved Michael Crichton. I once sat in the school office for detention and finished "Sphere".
115. Favorite library: CC Mellor in Edgewood. All I'd have to do is walk back in there and smell the place and it would all come back like a flood.
116. My first time seeing that maroon "Catcher in the Rye".
117. I would always pick the books that were the most mysterious and take a seat with it or them for as long as I could manage.
118. Then I'd reshelve and grab another, and another.
119. The leather couches and how I'd sit in them each in turn on sunny days with the sound of water games or tennis balls on racquets below (CC Mellor is part of the Edgewood country club).
120. I loved that library.
121. I made a comic book with Shawn in 8th grade called Mr Diplip.
122. Shawn drew a character he named "Sidekick Daddio" (Remember the term "Daddio"?)
123. I'm half-glad I threw those comics away. They were pretty obscene.
124. Watching Pete & Pete with Vin and Shawn.
125. Watching Ren & Stimpy.
126. Coming home on Rt 30 my Dad and Brother played this game where you had to guess what color the next traffic light would be. Its my only fond memory of my Dad and Brother interacting.
127. There is this picture of my Dad holding us on his arms at the beach and we are all smiling warmly. But I only remember the picture.
128. Ashley sleeping all night with a hockey mask on. She was so funny.
129. Learning to swim in Georgie's pool.
130. Going to swim at North Park with my Mom, Aunt Carol, and cousin Jen.
131. I would check every locker by moving the orange key (the Pitt bookstore has the same lockers). Occasionally I found one that was broken and I'd keep the key.
132. I remember the feeling of anxiety and embarrassment from the time I took my shirt off to when I got in the pool. I felt everyone's eyes on me in disgust, hotter than the sun.
133. Hating my body ever since I knew about it.
134. Learning to masturbate. Georgie told me to keep stroking it so I went home and tried it out. Thanks Georgie!
135. I once wrote "sex" on a scrap of paper and put it in a clay pot in the livingroom. My Mom later found it and I was embarrassed.
136. Georgie's basement. It was dark, always dark, and to get in the basement you had to walk on this long, skinny piece of wood over an abysmal pool of water in a metal cylinder in the ground. No joke. It was terrifying.
137. Playing Mortal Combat and Aladdin in Georgie's sister's room. Oh, and Sonic the Hedgehog.
138. I cried all weekend after Melissa, one of the prettiest girls in my class, asked for my ball in gym and I told her no.
139. Next gym class I offered her my ball but she declined. Fuck you Melissa - I'm sorry.
140. The horror of having boners in a Catholic School where shirts must be tucked in at all times.
141. Eli Wiggins, who once broke his pelvis. His dad told him to put some vaseline on it - he knew he masturbated.
142. Eli's dad should have been a detective with ideas like that.
143. The end of 8th grade and the party at Matt Meshenko's.
144. I walked around his house like 100 times to set the record. Even though there was no record standing.
145. All the guys slept at Matt's and the girl's, I think, slept at Ali's.
146. Jamie Morello walked around in his boxers which made me nervous - I didn't want that popping out.
147. We talked about the girls and what we wanted to do to them, them to do to us, etc.
148. Jamie said he's eat Maureen out after every other guy said he wouldn't. She was kind of a tom boy and to eat out a girl you had to know she took care of herself and kept things clean. Jamie said he didn't care which meant that he really liked her.
149. I wanted to tell everyone that I liked Ali but couldn't. I didn't want to eat her out, or any girl for that matter. Maybe Heidi.
150. There was always so much I wanted to tell people.
151. But instead I kept things funny.
152. The day I discovered sarcasm, which Shawn pronounced 'sourcasm'.
153. For about half a day one summer I vowed to never be funny again. "No more jokes," I said. I remember being at Koenig Park by Shawn's when I made someone laugh - probably Shawn.
Belmont Ridge Apartments, Monroeville
We lived here while I was in 4th, 5th, and 6th grade. My Dad worked for the apartments and my Mom was a struggling Real Estate Agent. There was a pool and a clubhouse with three racquetball courts and a big screen tv and weight lifting room and sauna and hot tub, etc.
154. My Dad breaking a glass because I didn't put it in the sink.
155. My Dad playing catch with me in the backyard and how awkward it was when he tried to show off only to get smacked in the face by my glove by accident. He walked home upset at me and very quiet. wtf?
156. These Jamaican brothers with whom I played soccer.
157. They said things like: "Pass it to your party."
158. Going over to their apartments once and watching an old Jean Claude Van Damme movie.
159. A black girl, whose name was I think LaQuinta, trading me basketball cards.
160. Ripping off LaQuinta. "I'll trade you my Mookie Blaylock for your Michael Jordan rookie card." "Deal".
161. My friend LeRon, also black, who slapped me in the face on the bus.
162. Having a painful crush on a girl from the Philippines.
163. I tried to tell one friend but stopped when he called her ugly.
164. Holding my sister. I never wanted to let her go.
165. I put her to sleep by whispering little things in her ear.
166. She had an inch of hair that stood straight up.
167. I once laid on the ground to wait for a friend and watched the clouds move for hours.
168. I wanted that to be my job I liked it so much. I really did.
169. Hearing this same friend's Dad, he was another black kid, and a lady friend outside of Phar-Mor talk about buying condoms very flirtatiously. I wish I hadn't told my friend what a condom was right after that.
170. While walking to get snacks for my Grandma and Mom I fell in the clubhouse's outside pool. Some people laughed at me. I would have too. Fuck them.
116 Ridgeview (the same number as our first house) Monroeville. This is the last house I lived in with my parents. My Dad finally had a good job and that's all we needed. And some luck.
171. Moving into our house in Monroeville. I was pretty cynical about our hopes of moving in and was thrilled to be proven wrong.
172. The 1st thing Ashley and I did was go into the woods and swing on this branch. That made it official.
173. Getting my first drum set. Sparkling green Ludwig.
174. Everyday I'd play it.
175. The loneliness of having a drum set and a little sister as your everyday friends.
176. The loneliness of 10th grade. Thank god never again.
177. Finding out that Shawn smoked marijuana and how betrayed and scared I felt. I felt like things were slipping away and I couldn't control it.
178. Losing touch with a friend over drugs.
179. Playing music with Vin, Shawn, and Matt in my basement on the weekends and in our music room (not sure what we called it but now its my Dad's vestige of an office).
180. Vin and his long hair and mix tapes (Every tape included, amongst the hair metal, Vin singing "Vin's...Tape O' Fun!").
181. Eating salad over Vin's with his Dad's homemade salad dressing. I loved eating dinner with Vin's family.
182. Vin's older sister Christy on whom I had a crush.
183. One day while riding in the car with Vin and his Mom, his Mom tells me Christy likes me. Vin says, "Mom!" Mrs. Lucas laughingly says: "She does!"
184. I wouldn't believe it and still don't. I have always had a hard time believing someone has a crush on me.
185. At Kennywood once Christy told me to touch her shirt while standing in line for the Log Jammer again. She said it was wet.
186. It took me a second or two but I finally touched her shirt. It was wet.
187. Before I had a drum set I used pillows and drum sticks on Vin's bed. Occasionally we'd turn over 5 gallon buckets and use tambourines.
188. Vin and his cousin had a band called "Blemic"
189. Vin once did all the instruments himself just by using two tape recorders.
190. Late night TV with the lights off and volume turned low, watching with vigilance.
191. My 1st kiss on Sarah Allen's floor. She was chewing Winterfresh. She had skinny lips and a raspy voice.
192. The 1st time I had sex on her back porch. The frightened, hopeful look in her eyes as she held my softness in her hand. I was terrified.
193. Her sister was calling her name from the kitchen, we pulled on our clothes and sat down just as the glass door slid open.
194. Telling Shawn and the look of envy in his eyes.
195. Telling Vin and the look of sad, disappointment in his eyes.
And so, the end of one phase of my life.
196. I never want to forget watching movies with my Mom.
197. I never want to forget the day I watched the clouds.
198. I never want to forget the smell of books and CC Mellor or the feeling of being surrounded by mystery.
199. I never want to forget my fascination of The Giving Tree.
200. I never want to forget.
116 Crest Dr. White Oak
My first house which I lived in until I was 6. Typical middle class suburban home. We had to move because my Dad lost his job. He was a coal miner back then.
1. Stealing money from a flowery brown box on my Mom's dresser in order to buy a Chinese star from a kid in the neighborhood.
2. My one and only attempt at throwing a Chinese star at a basketball in my backyard.
3. Losing my one and only Chinese star in my backyard.
4. My dad throwing me above his head and catching me.
5. Watching my dad ride his motorcycle on the undeveloped land behind our house.
6. My Dad throwing my Menudo guitar to the bottom of the steps, where it broke.
7. Being scared of my Dad for breaking my favorite childhood toy.
8. Laying with my mom on our couch and watching endless movies (Star Wars, I'm told).
9. Walking with my mom at dusk through our suburban neighborhood.
10. Sitting in our first car (a grey Cougar), jammed in with the last of our possessions, as my Mom ran back inside for one last look.
11. I remember wondering how what we would do if we had a cat with us. Would we put milk in a dish on the floor? We never had cats so it was very weird that I wondered about that.
12. Driving away from my first home.
208/204 South Ave, Wilkinsburg
My maternal, late Grandparents owned the condominiums where I divided up my childhood. Kindergarten through 3rd grade and 7th through half of 9th. My Dad worked as the maintenance man for all of my Grandparents apartments and went to electrical school. My mom went to school for Real Estate to follow in the footsteps of her Dad.
13. Training wheels and learning to ride my bike.
14. Not wanting to come in and sing Happy Birthday to my Mom.
15. My Mom coming out to ask me to come in and sing for her Birthday.
16. My friend Aaron telling me to go in and sing to my Mom.
17. Georgie almost getting hit by a car on South Ave.
18. The sound of the brakes as the car stopped a foot away from his bike.
19. The driver getting out and making a comment about anti-lock brakes and thank god.
20. Hiding behind a telephone pole after running across the street in front of cars.
21. Stealing 20 after 20 from my Grandfather's wallet as he lay sleeping before the television.
22. Buying box after box of baseball cards.
23. My brother Bryan stealing 20 dollars from my secret hiding place.
24. Trying to tell my parents what my brother did without telling them how I had that much money to begin with.
25. In their kitchen, telling my Grandfather I was sorry for taking the money.
26. My Grandfather forgiving me.
27. Smoking my Grandma's Salem cigarettes with my cousin Jen in the bathroom.
28. Smoking Lucky Strikes in between office buildings.
29. Buying my first pack of cigarettes from Trenton Pharmacy, a store that no longer exists. It displayed wheelchairs and walkers in the window. Probably why it's no longer in business.
30. Smoking cigarettes on the roof of Trenton Pharmacy.
31. Standing behind Trenton Pharmacy when an anonymous blue van pulled up.
32. Georgie not moving when the doors opened.
33. Me being scared when a blue van pulled up and saving my friend's life when I got him out of there (you never know).
34. Trying to do pull-ups on a dumpster after watching a neighbor throw away his trash.
35. The dumpster falling on top of me.
36. That same neighbor pulling a dumpster off my leg.
37. Having to walk around on crutches for weeks.
38. My friend's Aaron, Georgie, Johnny, and Ray.
39. Aaron and Georgie were brothers. I mostly hung out with Georgie because we were closer in age. Aaron was older.
40. Johnny was Georgie's friend. His mom grew marijuana in their backyard and owned an abundance of small mirrors which adorned many a coffee table in their apartment.
41. Ray lived across the street on the second floor.
42. Ray was a fat kid until one day, after not seeing him for months, he came outside with muscles. wtf?
43. Playing handball in grade school at St. Anselm's.
44. Watching my brother play handball when I was in 1st grade and he was in 8th.
45. Living in the shadow of my brother. Teachers expected me to be "bad" like him.
46. Our grade school gym which was shaped like a "D" on its side.
47. Playing basketball in that gym with no self-esteem and a lot of anxiety.
48. I hated all team sports growing up. I just did it for my family.
49. I remember the complete comfort of playing basketball by myself.
50. Making fun of Mickey O'Brien.
51. My friend Dorian.
52. Dorian came to St A's in 8th grade when the school had changed its name to "Word of God". He started a school club called "The Union".
53. "The Union" had a President, a Vice-President, etc. and our main goal was beating up Mick. But we never really beat him up, we only passed around agendas every homeroom about beating him up. We all had to initial the agenda.
54. My title in The Union was "Jonas" - I was a big Weezer fan.
55. Meeting Shawn in 2nd grade and becoming good friend's with him in 7th.
56. Meeting Vin in 8th grade. I sat behind him in homeroom and cracked stupid jokes about beavers. No euphemism. We thought the animal was hilarious.
57. Walking over Shawn's house almost everyday. When I had a friend I would spend a lot of time with them. Probably too much because Shawn and his Mom started to get a little mad.
58. Everyday during the summer we would sit on his porch for awhile, walk to Braddock Ave Express for Turner's Tea - which sucked because of all the steps - hang out at the park, the park steps, play basketball, watch TV. It was heaven. I think the sun was envious.
59. Shawn's video camera and "The Park Steps", which was a show we made up like "The State". Painfully awkward to watch, I'm sure.
60. We also made a radio show.
61. And made prank phone calls.
62. My everyday friends were Shawn, Matt and his younger brother Kevin, who we liked better, Mickey - even though we did pick on him daily - and his little brother Pat, who had a lisp. Vin came over sometimes too. But not too often because his Mom was still his Mom even back then.
63. Occasionally girls would come around.
64. Girls from school all thought I was funny and that's it. Because I was fat and weird. And girls are shallow. Boys aren't (kidding).
65. Some of those girls were Kara Redinger, who Shawn had a crush on, Ali Abel, who no one knew I had a crush on and who had a big chin (see 66), Tara Miller, who, sadly, no one had a crush on. She was funny like me in that way. And Erin Something, who came around seldomly, and who Vin dated throughout grade school.
66. Jamie Morello, who looked like Lazlo from Real Genius - minus the long hair - (which in turn means he looks like Uncle Rico). Anyway, Jamie made up this hand gesture that started with your hand at your chin and moved out and upward called "The Power Chin". There was a noise too.
67. I had one chance to tell Ali I liked her but couldn't do it. I sat with her in her livingroom drinking root beer as I waited for my Mom to pick me up.
68. I also had a crush on Heidi Veltre like everyone else. I saw her at CVS recently (I still have a crush on her).
69. I wrote something funny in her yearbook and she laughed. I didn't expect her to laugh at my weird joke and it made me smile for days.
70. I was voted funniest in 8th grade. Shawn: best looking. Vin: best singer. (I was also voted most likely to blog).
71. My brother showing me his glass bong. I remember feeling like he was going to die any second because of it, though I didn't know what he possibly could have done with it.
72. He hid the glass bong under his mattress. We had bunkbeds.
73. I had both beds when he left. I was 10. He was 16.
74. He lived with us again for a couple months when I was maybe 11 or 12.
75. Reading The Giving Tree over and over. Sometimes just flipping through and looking.
76. Walking into Ray's apartment to see that Georgie, Aaron and he were watching what I soon learned to be porn.
77. Thanks to Ray, Georgie, and Aaron for teaching me the birds and bees. And that gracious gentleman who came on that humble woman's face. At the time I thought it was pee, at which they laughed.
78. I was younger than all those guys.
79. Going to Donnie's Bar with my Grandfather and drinking Cokes and eating chips.
80. My Grandfather wore a cap, an oldman cap. I had to have one too. We used to go out like that.
81. When my Grandfather was not at the bar or out grocery shopping for stuff they already had he would be in his room with the AC on - no matter what the season it seemed - with his PJ bottoms on and V-neck white T-shirt tucked in. He'd lay there all night and watch movies.
82. I could always stop in his room and watch TV with him. He's roll over and smile at me and roll back over. I'd always sneak away and downstairs when there was a sex scene. He got a kick out of that. I have never been able to sit through a sex scene with family.
83. I liked living next to my Grandparents. Though we were on welfare, some of my fondest memories are from this time on my life (I do have memories of my Dad's parents, but they are still alive, so those memories don't hold the same weight).
84. Going out to eat with my Mom and Grandma. Mostly Kings. I always got the Turkey Club with fries.
85. Our dog Blondie, who once got knocked down by this scary looking dog. My Grandfather yelled so loud and that scary dog ran so fast.
86. The phone call from my Dad about my grandfather dying. I was in the kitchen.
87. I once danced around my kitchen to George Michael. Half because I thought it was funny and half because I liked it.
88. When my parents came home they didn't look at me but I could tell they'd been laughing. I had closed the blinds but not the right way - the were facing down!
89. I never danced to George in my kitchen, or in any room, ever again.
90. Sitting on my steps talking on the phone to Shawn for hours. That was my first long conversation and I think his too. That's probably why we kept it going so long - for the experience.
91. My brother's skateboarder side hair cut.
92. Trying to skateboard with my brother down Peebles Ave at dusk.
93. Bugle boy pants and the cuff. They had paisely around the cuff specifically so you could cuff and show off your love of paisely.
94. Georgie's tree, which I sat in many a day. Mostly after knocking on the door to an empty house.
95. Watching his parent's porn - they had one tape - in his living room. There was one position called "The George Washington". Well, that's what Georgie called it.
96. Accidentally shooting a shot gun out Georgie's back door as we looked up at each other in horror. We were both holding it and it put a hole threw his wooden fence. He told me the safety was on.
97. Sitting in Georgie and Aaron's tree house - a different tree - and eating P,B & J.
98. Georgie said he was running away from home but only made it to his own tree house in his own yard.
99. Aaron and I laughed that he only brought some lousy P, B & J.
100. Georgie and Aaron's basketball hoop.
101. Their Dad (Big George) didn't want any black kids to play on it. I disagreed, inside.
102. Talking to Georgie and Aaron about pacifism, though I didn't call it that.
103. Getting chased on my 15th birthday by three black kids.
104. Being surrounded by a gang of black kids, some were once basketball friends, and getting punched in the face two times.
105. I turned around and walked home as deliberately as I could.
106. Georgie came to my door. He showed me the handheld gun in his pants by lifting his shirt. He and Johnny were going to find the kids, he said.
107. I stayed in and listened to "The Toadies".
108. Eating trout that Georgie's dad caught. It was painstaking to get rid of all those whisker-like bones.
109. Being terrified of Big George because of his size (his name was no pun), racist views, and unpredictable anger.
110. When Georgie's parents split up I went over to Big George's apartment in Regent Square. But his Dad was sitting there at the table naked. I kept pushing stuff off the table onto the ground so I could look at his bulge. It was massive.
111. Favorite movies around this time: Sneakers and Searching for Bobby Fisher.
112. I did a report on Bobby Fisher and Josh Waitzkin in 8th grade.
113. I never got into the game of chess though.
114. I loved Michael Crichton. I once sat in the school office for detention and finished "Sphere".
115. Favorite library: CC Mellor in Edgewood. All I'd have to do is walk back in there and smell the place and it would all come back like a flood.
116. My first time seeing that maroon "Catcher in the Rye".
117. I would always pick the books that were the most mysterious and take a seat with it or them for as long as I could manage.
118. Then I'd reshelve and grab another, and another.
119. The leather couches and how I'd sit in them each in turn on sunny days with the sound of water games or tennis balls on racquets below (CC Mellor is part of the Edgewood country club).
120. I loved that library.
121. I made a comic book with Shawn in 8th grade called Mr Diplip.
122. Shawn drew a character he named "Sidekick Daddio" (Remember the term "Daddio"?)
123. I'm half-glad I threw those comics away. They were pretty obscene.
124. Watching Pete & Pete with Vin and Shawn.
125. Watching Ren & Stimpy.
126. Coming home on Rt 30 my Dad and Brother played this game where you had to guess what color the next traffic light would be. Its my only fond memory of my Dad and Brother interacting.
127. There is this picture of my Dad holding us on his arms at the beach and we are all smiling warmly. But I only remember the picture.
128. Ashley sleeping all night with a hockey mask on. She was so funny.
129. Learning to swim in Georgie's pool.
130. Going to swim at North Park with my Mom, Aunt Carol, and cousin Jen.
131. I would check every locker by moving the orange key (the Pitt bookstore has the same lockers). Occasionally I found one that was broken and I'd keep the key.
132. I remember the feeling of anxiety and embarrassment from the time I took my shirt off to when I got in the pool. I felt everyone's eyes on me in disgust, hotter than the sun.
133. Hating my body ever since I knew about it.
134. Learning to masturbate. Georgie told me to keep stroking it so I went home and tried it out. Thanks Georgie!
135. I once wrote "sex" on a scrap of paper and put it in a clay pot in the livingroom. My Mom later found it and I was embarrassed.
136. Georgie's basement. It was dark, always dark, and to get in the basement you had to walk on this long, skinny piece of wood over an abysmal pool of water in a metal cylinder in the ground. No joke. It was terrifying.
137. Playing Mortal Combat and Aladdin in Georgie's sister's room. Oh, and Sonic the Hedgehog.
138. I cried all weekend after Melissa, one of the prettiest girls in my class, asked for my ball in gym and I told her no.
139. Next gym class I offered her my ball but she declined. Fuck you Melissa - I'm sorry.
140. The horror of having boners in a Catholic School where shirts must be tucked in at all times.
141. Eli Wiggins, who once broke his pelvis. His dad told him to put some vaseline on it - he knew he masturbated.
142. Eli's dad should have been a detective with ideas like that.
143. The end of 8th grade and the party at Matt Meshenko's.
144. I walked around his house like 100 times to set the record. Even though there was no record standing.
145. All the guys slept at Matt's and the girl's, I think, slept at Ali's.
146. Jamie Morello walked around in his boxers which made me nervous - I didn't want that popping out.
147. We talked about the girls and what we wanted to do to them, them to do to us, etc.
148. Jamie said he's eat Maureen out after every other guy said he wouldn't. She was kind of a tom boy and to eat out a girl you had to know she took care of herself and kept things clean. Jamie said he didn't care which meant that he really liked her.
149. I wanted to tell everyone that I liked Ali but couldn't. I didn't want to eat her out, or any girl for that matter. Maybe Heidi.
150. There was always so much I wanted to tell people.
151. But instead I kept things funny.
152. The day I discovered sarcasm, which Shawn pronounced 'sourcasm'.
153. For about half a day one summer I vowed to never be funny again. "No more jokes," I said. I remember being at Koenig Park by Shawn's when I made someone laugh - probably Shawn.
Belmont Ridge Apartments, Monroeville
We lived here while I was in 4th, 5th, and 6th grade. My Dad worked for the apartments and my Mom was a struggling Real Estate Agent. There was a pool and a clubhouse with three racquetball courts and a big screen tv and weight lifting room and sauna and hot tub, etc.
154. My Dad breaking a glass because I didn't put it in the sink.
155. My Dad playing catch with me in the backyard and how awkward it was when he tried to show off only to get smacked in the face by my glove by accident. He walked home upset at me and very quiet. wtf?
156. These Jamaican brothers with whom I played soccer.
157. They said things like: "Pass it to your party."
158. Going over to their apartments once and watching an old Jean Claude Van Damme movie.
159. A black girl, whose name was I think LaQuinta, trading me basketball cards.
160. Ripping off LaQuinta. "I'll trade you my Mookie Blaylock for your Michael Jordan rookie card." "Deal".
161. My friend LeRon, also black, who slapped me in the face on the bus.
162. Having a painful crush on a girl from the Philippines.
163. I tried to tell one friend but stopped when he called her ugly.
164. Holding my sister. I never wanted to let her go.
165. I put her to sleep by whispering little things in her ear.
166. She had an inch of hair that stood straight up.
167. I once laid on the ground to wait for a friend and watched the clouds move for hours.
168. I wanted that to be my job I liked it so much. I really did.
169. Hearing this same friend's Dad, he was another black kid, and a lady friend outside of Phar-Mor talk about buying condoms very flirtatiously. I wish I hadn't told my friend what a condom was right after that.
170. While walking to get snacks for my Grandma and Mom I fell in the clubhouse's outside pool. Some people laughed at me. I would have too. Fuck them.
116 Ridgeview (the same number as our first house) Monroeville. This is the last house I lived in with my parents. My Dad finally had a good job and that's all we needed. And some luck.
171. Moving into our house in Monroeville. I was pretty cynical about our hopes of moving in and was thrilled to be proven wrong.
172. The 1st thing Ashley and I did was go into the woods and swing on this branch. That made it official.
173. Getting my first drum set. Sparkling green Ludwig.
174. Everyday I'd play it.
175. The loneliness of having a drum set and a little sister as your everyday friends.
176. The loneliness of 10th grade. Thank god never again.
177. Finding out that Shawn smoked marijuana and how betrayed and scared I felt. I felt like things were slipping away and I couldn't control it.
178. Losing touch with a friend over drugs.
179. Playing music with Vin, Shawn, and Matt in my basement on the weekends and in our music room (not sure what we called it but now its my Dad's vestige of an office).
180. Vin and his long hair and mix tapes (Every tape included, amongst the hair metal, Vin singing "Vin's...Tape O' Fun!").
181. Eating salad over Vin's with his Dad's homemade salad dressing. I loved eating dinner with Vin's family.
182. Vin's older sister Christy on whom I had a crush.
183. One day while riding in the car with Vin and his Mom, his Mom tells me Christy likes me. Vin says, "Mom!" Mrs. Lucas laughingly says: "She does!"
184. I wouldn't believe it and still don't. I have always had a hard time believing someone has a crush on me.
185. At Kennywood once Christy told me to touch her shirt while standing in line for the Log Jammer again. She said it was wet.
186. It took me a second or two but I finally touched her shirt. It was wet.
187. Before I had a drum set I used pillows and drum sticks on Vin's bed. Occasionally we'd turn over 5 gallon buckets and use tambourines.
188. Vin and his cousin had a band called "Blemic"
189. Vin once did all the instruments himself just by using two tape recorders.
190. Late night TV with the lights off and volume turned low, watching with vigilance.
191. My 1st kiss on Sarah Allen's floor. She was chewing Winterfresh. She had skinny lips and a raspy voice.
192. The 1st time I had sex on her back porch. The frightened, hopeful look in her eyes as she held my softness in her hand. I was terrified.
193. Her sister was calling her name from the kitchen, we pulled on our clothes and sat down just as the glass door slid open.
194. Telling Shawn and the look of envy in his eyes.
195. Telling Vin and the look of sad, disappointment in his eyes.
And so, the end of one phase of my life.
196. I never want to forget watching movies with my Mom.
197. I never want to forget the day I watched the clouds.
198. I never want to forget the smell of books and CC Mellor or the feeling of being surrounded by mystery.
199. I never want to forget my fascination of The Giving Tree.
200. I never want to forget.
posted by Rosemeyer at 8:19 PM
i feel like i just read The Perks of Being A Wallflower... i can relate to a lot of those memories.. brings back those 3rd-8th grade memories and how we thought about things. good stuff.
Wow. Thanks for reading all of that, I didn't know if anyone would have enough time.
Yep and you nailed a lot of those well. I've had a bad morning and i just felt like reading some things instead of working (i'm a genius). So that long post was very entertaining and nostalgic.
holy smokes jay. thanks for sharing.
seriously.
i really liked this. thank you for being honest. i wish i could be that honest about myself.