I caught three people shop lifting today. In a span of like 2 hours. A lady, of Brobdingnagian proportions, looked me in the eyes as she put beauty products up her shirt. Then she told me that I did not just see her put beauty products up her shirt. I told her I'd be glad to call the po-lice for retrieval of stuffed items.

This is my life. Scratch that. This is my job.

I want a job where the only goal is to be creative. That the description is: be creative. Where I, along with a team of other creative people, preferably of the mid-cult, do whatever it takes to reach a desired end, maybe determined by some unknown third party, and the means is pure creativity.

And this is why I will continue to watch towering women steal beauty products and then deny it. Why? Because you can't find a job like that. Where do you look? Is it in the Vague Pages? Ok, it might be in there, but under what section? Is it under creativity? Ok, it could be there.

Everything is anew!

About what's below: I tried. I was pleased with the audio, not with the video.
About what's above: I did not try. Prepare yourself for real stupidity.

Knows

UPDATE! I got a new job! I'm working as a Collegiate Assessor in 19th Century Russia. Only problem is I lost my nose. But I went straight to the office of the Police Commissioner. On the way, to my great shock and dismay, I found my nose in the form of a uniformed gentleman. I thought, to my horror: my own nose entering a mansion - on foot! I am awaiting his return. After all, in 19th century Russia, one must return to his carriage at some point. I do hope it is sooner rather than later. There is a patch of skin where my nose should be!